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  • Writer's pictureMariaelena Comaroto

The Bogeyman

The Bogeyman (/ˈboʊɡimæn/;[1] is a type of mythic creature used by adults to frighten children into good behavior. [2] The Bogeyman or conceptually similar monsters can be found in many cultures around the world. The term is sometimes used as a non-specific personification or metonym for terror, and in some cases, the Devil.[3] - Wikipedia

I get it. I’ve searched high and low myself for universal standards on raising human babies. It’s not easy to make sense of parenting today, and I will argue that it was just as challenging for all humans in history, but for different reasons. When I finally see a paradox in my problem I know I’ve come a long way.

Parenting. It’s not easy. It’s a “roll of the dice” sometimes. But it matters to me. Very much. And it always has. As a perfectionist I of course set out to be a “perfect parent”, only to learn years later that while my intentions were always good and my heart is always in the right place, even in matters of parenting and love, there is no perfect.

So what IS there? Yes, therein lies the answer. There is what is, and no more and no less. It is what it is. And for me, to finally see eye to eye with this concept, is to have found another level of peace. Peace in the imperfections. I don’t know if it’s attainable as a constant state, but it has become my biggest motivator in life, and I am so grateful for it.

I mention The Bogeyman because it is something I can relate to from my childhood, and therefore something I have come to terms with recently. In my case I see that this concept was used on me to instill fear of authority figures, and more specifically, family members. It worked really well, unfortunately. For far too long.

All I can do today is know what happened and know what is true for myself. And because I was born with a high moral barometer, I always do better when I know better. I share my stories for others who may need to hear that there is hope and a way out of dysfunction and power abuse relationships. There is no bogeyman, except for the one we allow to remain in our consciousness.

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