Somebody That I Used to Know

I was having dinner with somebody that I used to know and we were having a discussion about something I can’t recall, and I kept bringing up court rooms. It was a task in itself to write that sentence because for a moment I had to revisit the discomfort and confusion I felt that evening, in that person's company.

I’ve learned a lot about myself since that dinner. I learned why it’s so important to protect my time and my energy. I learned that when I bring up the law and court rooms I’m both going to be very passionate, and there’s likely a reason. There’s always a reason. In the case of this dinner it was simple.

Looking back there was no common structure or rules and etiquette of conversation that the person I was with was willing to commit to during our conversation. Today, in my personal life, I take pride in having very little of that left, but at the time it’s where I was. This person clearly didn’t like what I said and furthermore was unable to recognize and own how it consequently made them feel.

I used to think that if only everyone understood and realized how much more powerful and in control we could be of our own lives if we would just see and accept our emotions, that our world would be a better place. In theory, this could be true. In reality, it’s not my problem. The more I abandon the desire to fix problems that don’t belong to me, the further and faster I get to my own goals in life.

That is evidence enough to shut up about it. However, that is not to say that I will or should shut up about what I see, what I observe, what I feel, what I judge, what I want. After all, it would be very hypocritical of me to expect that anyone else should be responsible for me or for carrying any part of me. I’ll hold my own. That’s where my freedom lies.

It would be lovely if more of us could become solutions oriented, systems minded, and hopeful. So, I will remain hopeful ;)